New Year, Same Me

New Year, Same Me

New years is traditionally a time to make resolutions. An opportunity to set unrealistic goals, simply because the year has increased by another digit. For some, this approach works well. For many, it all gets forgotten about a week into January. However, I try to avoid resolutions entirely.

Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t that I disapprove of New Year’s resolutions. It is truer to say that personally, they lead to depression, frustration and anger. I do use the time after Xmas to think about what I have done and what I’d like to do in the future. What did I learn, and how can I put it into place? From there, I think about how I can improve in the year ahead. I don’t set myself specific goals, or dates. An arbitrary deadline is too easy to miss. Instead, I choose a few aims that are realistic and achievable.

I’ll show you what I mean. Let’s take my schedule as an example. Over the past year, I have realised that I find it hard to create and maintain a schedule. The causes for this are varied, from tiredness and low spoons, to simply forgetting that something needs to be done. I have discovered that more enjoyable activities tend to be easier to do, and that I only do the more mundane tasks when I am hyper. How can I use this knowledge to my advantage? For a start, I can try to have a simple “base” routine that isn’t draining. It should also not be set to certain times. This will allow me to keep up a routine when I am drained or having a serious brain fog day. In addition, I will try to add some fun to the activities, as that is when I’m most likely to stick to them. My current approach to exercise is a great example. I am using the ring-fit adventure game on my Switch, to help bring some joy to the activity. Gamifying an activity can help me to return to it more regularly. Over the course of the year, I want to try to build a routine that works for me, by slowly adding activities over time.

Another key part of this is to allow myself to have bad days. This might seem obvious, but often I find myself blaming myself for not achieving goals. Holding yourself accountable is important, but there are limits. Berating myself for things that are out of my control just leads to frustration and disappointment. Allowing myself to have bad days, or for things to go wrong, helps me to take a more open approach to things. 

Finally, I need to be realistic. Realistic with my goals, the steps needed to be taken and the potential challenges that I might encounter. I won’t be able to predict or plan for every outcome. That is impossible, and it is naive to think that I could do that. However, I can use my previous experiences as a guide. Paying attention to what happens will allow me to create and put in place realistic and achievable goals.

How do you approach new years? Do you have suggestions on how to create a routine or goals that help you? Feel free to leave them in the comments. If there’s something you’d like me to write about, let me know. I’m always looking for inspiration.